The Gay Blade Cuts Both Ways


Just the other day, I was asked about whether or not a Christian can attend a same-sex wedding in a Church. Should I bring my family, and my young children to such an event?

We know what God says about same-sex weddings. Absolutely nothing. There is no such thing in the Bible. But before the LGBTQs breathe a sigh of relief, God has much to say about traditional marriage. Though the examples of strong man-woman marriages seem to be few, they are there, as exemplified by Adam and Eve, Joseph and Mary, Aquila and Priscilla, and many others. The first book in the Bible to frankly discuss sex is Song of Solomon, and it describes an intimate relationship between a man and a woman. The wisdom literature (Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon) all speak of marriage as the unique relationship between a man and a woman that is exclusively theirs. When Jesus speaks of marriage, he speaks of it as an exclusive relationship between a man and woman sealed by God, unbreakable by man. His followers bore similar testimony to the marriage relationship.

Therefore God’s silence on same-sex marriage is deafening. We know from Romans 1 that same-sex attraction is unnatural, therefore people are not born with it. It is not God’s will for people of the same sex to have sex with each other. (This is a “one-flesh” argument that works well against polygamy too.)

Therefore, for someone to say that they were born gay and ought to fully express themselves (in order to be happy), they ought to be able to marry another gay person is an out and out lie. And God takes this very seriously.

You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. (Lev 18:22)
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. (Lev 20:13)

The word “abomination” may be one of the strongest words in the Old Testament to describe the displeasure of God. Not only does the practice disgust Him, but it seems to me that any “marriage” based on the practice would be absolutely abhorrent to Him. Something so totally outside His plan for marriage that this too would be an abomination.

I heard someone say a few days ago that they knew they were gay from the day they were born. A person doesn’t even begin to think about other people sexually until they get to puberty, do they? Did I miss that? Unless they have been abused sexually I doubt seriously that “from the day I was born” sex was a thing.

I believe there is as much to “same-sex” attraction as there is to the overused stereotypes of what is “male”
and what is “female”. There are so many things that are considered feminine, that any man who has an interest in cooking, tailoring and fashion, personal grooming, or music is immediately, in some circles, considered “gay”, and so pressured by his peers that at some point, he just gives up and “comes out” because he has been labeled so all his life. Any girl interested in carpentry, stone work, weight-lifting, etc., is considered “butch” and must be gay. Since when did we become so narrow to think that only men are interested in some things and only women are interested in others? Do these things compromise our sexuality? Can’t a girl be interested in cars and a guy be interested in soufflé and not be considered gay?

My point is that “being gay” is a false statement, and becomes a trap for anyone with what they interpret as same-sex attraction, and expressing that attraction through physical and imagined acts is self-reinforcing. The more you do it, the more you are used to it, and it becomes normal.

Yet the patterns that reinforce homosexual behavior are eerily similar to the patterns of other sinful behaviors. Psychology tends to call these “addictions”, and sexual addictions tend to be the most destructive, as they tear at the soul of the individual, and not just the flesh. Any sin can become a lifestyle, including lying, stealing, adultery, coveting and so on. And the trap of each sin is two-fold, 1) I can stop anytime, and 2) I’ve gone too far already to turn back.

But there is hope. As long as you are alive, you can still turn back. Your path is not set, nor your destiny assured, since God is stronger than your “destiny” and more powerful than your lifestyle. Don’t give up yet. He hasn’t given up on you.

Published by


I've been in ministry in the Christian Churches/ Churches of Christ for 20+ years. Finished my doctorate in Biblical Studies in 2015. Serve today as a Hospital Chaplain.

2 thoughts on “The Gay Blade Cuts Both Ways”

  1. But I’m still curious: Is it okay for a Christian to attend a same-sex wedding (let’s say: not held in a church)?
    People have asked me this question a lot. Particularly in regard to a family member who is getting married. They don’t want to – by their non-attendance – create a rift between themselves and that person which might take away their opportunity to be a witness towards Christ in their life.
    The argument that is often given is: if homosexual relations are in the same category as extra-marital sex, and a Christian might attend the wedding of a non-Christian couple who were living together prior to their wedding – then why shouldn’t they attend the wedding of a homosexual couple?
    I think the difference is found in that whereas the one couple is moving towards God’s idea for marriage, the other couple is making a determined step which will “seal the deal” in a way, to their union which is not in line with God’s ideal for marriage.
    Still the question remains: Is it okay, or is it wrong for a Christian to attend a same-sex wedding (not held in a church)? I’m curious what you think.


    1. At the heart of your comment is this question: “Is it okay for a Christian to attend a same-sex wedding?” The short answer is NO. Attendance implies agreement, even support. A Christian cannot support same-sex marriage for any reason, because marriage according to the biblical definition is one man and one woman for life. A Christian cannot say that the Bible is right and say that same-sex marriage is ok because the two are ideologically opposed. This is my black-and white thinking on teh subject. Let me explain.

      Love is love. How can a Christian be opposed to love? I’m sorry, but this is the back door to many aberrant behaviors. If it feels good, why not? Because there is an immutable Word of God that says no. God doesn’t tell us these things because He is against love and good feelings. He tells us these things like any good parent would that such things will harm you in the end. We may not see the families crushed by a gay child or the children distraught over a suddenly gay parent. We may not witness the heartache of that gay individual whose feelings are now different, but they are trapped in a same-sex “marriage”. We don’t hear the crying parent who blames God for the ongoing pain that is a gay child. We don’t hear her depression and grief because their child didn’t bring home a a grandchild to fawn over and spoil, to see her child’s life fraught with frustration because everything is 1000% more difficult. To see two people who “love” each other but are fundamentally incompatible.

      I don’t think it’s any mystery that until the Lord’s return, sin will always be a part of culture. As such, there will always be homosexuals, just as there will always be adulterers, thieves, murderers, etc. With sin, there is always shame, because a person knows that what they are doing is wrong. It is built into us to know right and wrong, shame and guilt. Why is it always such a big deal when a homosexual person “comes out”? Why is that a defining moment? Because that is the moment they act against their natural shame and embrace their sin nature as “normal”. Why is there such vitriol against the Christian right among the LGBT people? Why is it so important that Christians not only tolerate but embrace their “life choices”? Because Christians, and more specifically, the Word of God, stands opposed to their choices. They have this belief that if more Christians accept them “for who they are”, then the Scripture becomes irrelevant. And yes, whole church denominations have made this shift. Yet the Bible remains the same.

      To add to this, as you mentioned in your comment, Christian families are dealing with this issue, not just as an abstract notion, but as a personal one. Families are becoming divided, because children are falling prey to the thinking that LGBT is just another option, not an abomination. You can point to whomever you wish on that one, for all probably have an equal share of the blame. Regardless, Christian parents, friends, children, etc. are being faced with this question. My family member is marrying someone of the same gender. What will God think if I go? What will man think if I go?
      You mentioned the idea of a “rift” and I think your solution is actually along this line. You mentioned that if a Christian friend (or family) decided not to attend a same-sex wedding, it would cause a rift in that relationship and hurt a person’s witness. Let me share with you this passage from Romans:

      Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them. (Rom 1:32)

      I would read the whole latter half of the chapter, but this verse gets to the heart of it. If your intention is the nature of your Christian witness, then it seems obvious that attending the wedding is to “give approval to those who practice” those things which displease God. Your witness will be blighted by attending a same-sex wedding. Yes, your relationship will suffer, but not because you have sinned against them. If you’re thinking that not attending will cause a “rift” in your relationship, keep in mind that this individual who invited you probably already knows how you feel about their relationship, already knows you are a Christian. Who is causing the rift here? The Christian who acts according to his convictions, or the gay man or woman who wants you to act against your convictions? Does the true friend go along for the sake of friendship, or stand on conviction, even to oppose, when they believe their friend is making a mistake? Who will that person turn to when they need an honest opinion?

      I believe that if Christians stood together and resisted the siren call of “love”, and stood on truth, LGBT would not be an issue in a generation. It would go back into the closet. If Christians embraced a Christian worldview, there would be no question here. Jesus makes it clear that at some point, even in our families, we will have to face a decision whether to be a disciple or not. It will seem like hate to follow His standard of righteousness. And I don’t think its any accident that we are opposed not in our apologetics, but against our very hearts. Satan knows we have gotten very good at arguing for morality, but are weak when it comes to our families and loved ones.

      “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)

      I don’t think I’m telling you anything new here. But it is encouraging to hear someone else say what you are thinking. I hope this helps.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s