Good Mourning

Mourning is always associated with loss. I learned this morning of the death of someone I had recently seen alive, a stranger to me, but the grief of the family was palpable. They mourned and wept. Grief is rarely good at the time. It feels like a piece being ripped from a garment, with ragged tears on either side, broken, unfinished, and empty. It is both a phsyical loss and a psychic one, and our minds, used to the presence or even the hope of the presence of a person’s life and relationship, now will never be. Some people never “get over it” nor should they. But we learn to live with that pothole on life’s journey. We drive around it. Sometimes we forget that it’s there an we hit again, feeling that loss afresh. But there is no sauve to fill it. That loss remains a part of our lives forever.

But to whom is this blessing? Does “those who mourn” include everyone? Or only those in the Kingdom? I think there are two forms of comfort that may be involved here. First, is the comfort of an ever-loving God who wraps His own arms around you, as 1 Corinthians says, “the God of all comfort”, who offers you peace and grace for the excision from your life. God fills the empty places, making them easier to bear, more livable, because He gives us the strength to persevere.

But second, there is the hope of seeing our loved ones again. Those in the kingdom have a greater hope of seeing those they love, who were also faithful believers, in the heavenly realms, once we too pass through the doors of death. We shall be comforted by God in the present, but receive that ultimate comfort in the arms of our loved ones, gone but not forgotten. That seems to me the best comfort of all. Don’t get me wrong. Being in God’s presence is truly the best, but being able to see my family again? That’s just icing on the cake.

Heavenly Father, today I want to thank You that I have hope, not just for eternity, but hope for my family. My most precious relationships will endure in the Lord. Those I have lost, in their faith they yet live, and one day I will see them again. I pray that you would ease my mourning with Your comfort until that day I can spend eternity in Your presence.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Godly Grief

What kind of repentance does God expect for sin? As this verse suggests, it is the repentance that emerges from “godly grief”. Just not sure what that is. We naturally experience grief when we experience a loss. When we lose a job or a loved one, even our keys, we experience a measure of grief. Really it is the mind’s reaction to a readjustment to normal. We relate to life by assuming a normal, this so we can ignore extraneous stimuli. If you’ve ever had something happen that is unusual in your daily schedule, and if it is brief and temporary, you may even forget it happened. It fell outside of normal. But if it’s effect is prolonged, you come into the transition period known as grief. Your mind is fighting to reestablish a “new normal” so that it can resume normal function. This is why sometimes when a loved one is lost, we sometimes see them again out the corner of our eye, because our mind is used to seeing them. The older we are, the prominent this is because our minds are less flexible.

But what about “godly grief”? If this is like grief, it means a loss has occurred. If we are leading to salvation, then we might trace the steps back to a loss of innocence, or a loss of relationship with God that we thought we had. We lost relationship with God because of sin. When we mourn that loss, and what the implications are for that, then we are led to repentance. It is this repentance that leads to salvation. When we properly mourn the loss of our innocence before God, aware of the brokenness that sin has caused between us and God, we ought to be repentant.

I have more to say about this, but I will leave it for another time. God bless you all!

Good Mourning

What route do you take through grief? Elizabeth Kubler-Ross once penned the roadmap through grief. It starts with denial, then goes to anger, bargaining through to acceptance. Not everyone takes the same path, but the human reaction to grief for all its reasons tends toward the same direction as the human mind readjusts to a new normal. Grief isn’t over quickly either. While a person may experience all of these things in the immediate aftermath, they will also experience them on significant anniversaries and reminders of the event. Grief can last for a lifetime, depending on the significance of the object lost.

Knowing that mourning deals particularly with human loss, I am intrigued by Jesus’s statement. He pronounces blessing over those that mourn, for they shall receive comfort from God. This is the same Jesus who will rise from the dead just a year or so from this point giving the Christian cause for rejoicing. The resurrection directly refuted mourning, because the dead are raised! Aren’t these values in conflict? No.

In fact they complement each other. Jesus earlier words were placed in the future tense. “They shall be comforted.” Now we mourn, but in the future we will be comforted. What would change that would cause us to be comforted? Belief in the resurrection! Even now, we are comforted when a loved on dies that they are with Jesus. That is comforting. How are they with Jesus? Because if anyone believes in Jesus, though he were dead, is alive in Christ. This is a powerful truth in the midst of mourning. The possibility of life after death existed in Judaism before, but was refined and given more specifics in Christ. This is certainly comfort for the believer.

“But what about …”

If your loved one didn’t believe in Jesus, then we have every reason to mourn. I am sorry. If they were witnessed to and knew the requirements of the gospel and still refused to surrender to God’s Love, I am truly sorry. I know that sounds harsh, but Jesus endured hell for them. I believe some leniency will be given to those who have never heard, but they will be judged on the light they have been given and how obedient they were to it. “All have sinned, and have fallen short of the glory of God.” Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

God bless you today.

What’s Your Number?


In my line of work, I deal with families who lose loved ones, sometimes without warning. In the process of treatment, utilizing all of our knowledge to resuscitate using drugs, physical techniques (like CPR) and others,  we connect patients to heart monitors, which count their heartbeats per minute. Usually 70 is a good heart rate but at those times, any heart rate is preferred to none.

But it struck me that the number of beats our heart makes is a definite number. It has a definite beginning, and a definite end. It begins when our little hearts begin in our mother’s womb, and end, sometimes on an E.R. treatment bed. If a person truly wished to discover this number, it is probably possible. But it is a number God already knows.

Let that sink in. God knows the number of beats your heart will make, He knows how many you have left. He also knows what you’ve done with each of them. If God numbers our hairs (Matthew 10:30) would He not know our heartbeats? Consider the following:

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”
(1Sa 16:7)

I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”
(Jer 17:10)
And God, who knows the heart, bore witness to them, by giving them the Holy Spirit just as he did to us,
(Act 15:8)

When I witness an unexpected death, I grieve with the family. None of us know when our beats come to an end.  Many times we can’t predict it, let alone prepare for it. I am reminded of a movie, called “In Time” that came out in 2011. In the film, people stop aging at 25, but have a clock on their arm to tell them exactly how much time they have left. They work for time, and barter time to pay for things, instead of using money. Though the movie failed to perform at the box office, it pointed out the innate human desire to know our time. If we knew when we would die, don’t you think we would be better prepared for it? Or if we knew our death was near, would we go out and run up our credit cards and live like royalty?  Could you imagine a world where you knew exactly how much time you had left to live? Seems to me this is information we are better off not knowing. Besides, I believe we have something better.

I think about the impact my death would have on my family, or theirs on me. Death can come so suddenly and destructively, it just leaves devastation in its wake. That’s why I praise God that I serve one who conquered death, that rose from the grave, and offers me hope for the same.

I know that when my number comes up, He will be standing there, arms outstretched, saying, “Welcome Home!” For when I die, eternity is laid out before me, and I will never die again. “For it is appointed unto men once to die, and after that, the judgment.” (Hebrews 9:27) “For there is now no condemnation for those who are in Jesus Christ.” (Romans 8:1) “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (Joh 3:16)

It is that hope that helps me help others in the midst of their tragedy. And I am grateful to God for His indescribable gift!

Lessons from Loss

If you’ve been keeping up with your Bible reading, then you’ve read the prophet Ezekiel. I’ve always found Ezekiel to be fascinating, ever since I started reading through the Bible. I have a journal somewhere dated 1999 where I tried to read through the Bible, and only got as far as Isaiah, and that in 2001. I’ve only been through the entire Bible a handful of times, and only recently (2004) picked it up again with the help of an audio Bible. So don’t think I’m trying to boast. But as a believer, I’ve come under the conviction that I need to be reading the Bible daily to keep up the strength of my Spirit.

After reading about the disaster that befell the Israelites in Jerusalem in the siege by the Babylonians, and then the numbers that were sent away, you get a feeling of utter despair. Jeremiah’s writings feel despondent, if not maudlin. It’s no wonder they call them the Lamentations. The Jews have been ripped from their homeland, and their homeland is utterly destroyed. We know it is because of their sins, their idolatry and their wickedness before God. That’s the religious justification. But pain is still pain. It still hurts, whether it is just or not.

Enter Ezekiel, mourning with the exiles on the shores of the river Kebar. “In the thirtieth year, in the fourth month on the fifth day, while I was among the exiles by the Kebar River, …”1 right along with them, Ezekiel was wailing, weeping, mourning the loss of their home, and despairing of their future.

We’ve all lost someone or something at one time or another, whether a spouse, friend, child, parent, job, or favorite activity. When we lose a loved one especially, the pain of the void they leave behind devours the rest of our lives. We wonder if life will ever be the same again.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross describes it as the five stages of grief. Her work focused primarily on those who were in the process of dying, like from a long-term illness, but the stages are applicable to any loss. First there is denial and isolation. We don’t believe it and don’t want to talk to anyone that does. Then, there is anger. Often this is directed at God, at doctors, at friends because of the force of our loss. Third, there is bargaining. Just bring them back Lord, I’ll do anything. Fourth, there is depression, a simple despondency, lack of energy, or desire for life. Lastly, there is acceptance. This is the point we’d all wish we could skip to, because the loss becomes then a part of us, part of who we are.2 There is no guarantee that everyone will go through all the stages in order, but everyone goes through each stage to some extent. Dwelling in any of these stages save the last is asking for serious mental and emotional problems. And if you find yourself in the list above, you need to talk to someone, even if it is your local minister, to work through this debilitating grief.

Now this is why Ezekiel is so fascinating. Into this emotional maelstrom, where all is despair and loss and rejection and grief, enters God. “The heavens were opened and I saw the visions of God.”3 And not merely visions, or the “Angel of the Lord,” but wheels within wheels, cherubim with the faces of Man, Ox, Eagle, and Lion. “I looked, and I saw a windstorm coming out of the north – an immense cloud with flashing lightning and surrounded by brilliant light.”4 Ezekiel goes on to describe an incredible vision. This is the Lord God revealed in His glory to this lost and depressed crowd, to this one man entrusted with a simple message. “He said to me, ‘Son of man, stand up on your feet and I will speak to you. As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet, and I heard him speaking to me.”5

What God instructs Ezekiel to do is continue to warn the Israelites that unfaithfulness will lead to further destruction. We learn later that they didn’t listen, and their first destruction was better than their last. In short, Ezekiel’s message to his people from God was this, “trust me.”

I Know You’re in Pain, But Trust Me, I Can Take Care of You.

This is the message to every age, and to every man. “Trust Me.” I know you’re hurting. I know your circumstances. I know your pain, but trust me, I can take care of you and your eternity. God may not appear in whirling wheels or great and terrifying storms, but like he appeared to Elijah at Mt. Sinai, He may speak in a mere whisper, in a still small voice, just to see if you are listening. Today is a great day for listening.

1 Ezekiel 1:1a (NIV)

2 Taken from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, On Death and Dying (New York: Macmillan, 1973)

3 1:1b

4 1:4

5 2:1, 2